Are you struggling with daily chaos and disorder? Having a routine and making it a habit can help.
Things at home can get crazy at times with young children who seem to be masters of chaos with no sense of order, structure or time. The ages 0 to 6 for a child (and their often exhausted parents) is as challenging and exciting as adolescence. There is so much going on and their brain is trying its best to process all the information it is receiving. That is why our children’s behavior may seem erratic. In fact, they are really trying very hard to find some order and make some sense of everything they learn each day. We can help with that by establishing some order through consistent routines. Even as adults, we find it much easier to do something if we practice it at regular and predictable intervals i.e. make it a habit.
When JJ was about 18 months, we had lots of trouble moving from one activity to the next each day. Just getting out of the house took so much effort that even an outgoing person like me didn’t want to go out. Getting her to bathe, brush her teeth or change was an uphill task. If we ever got out, moving from one place to another was also difficult. If we went to a playground or someone’s house, we could never leave without a meltdown. Eventually, I realised JJ felt insecure not knowing what was happening. We had a different agenda each day. Somedays, I cared for her, other days it was her nanny. Some days we went to a friend’s house, other days we had to go around town running errands. When I was in a hurry, we would have meals on the go. Every day seemed vastly different and her day was just in a whirlwind. For us adults, a slight change in schedule may be a small thing but for a young toddler, those small changes (especially if it happens often) make a huge difference to them.
I did some research about establishing routines and decided to sit down with JJ one day and talk about our daily routine. We talked about some of the activities we do each day and what she felt about our day. I introduced her to the idea of a routine. Then, I asked her to suggest some activities that she would love to add to our daily activities. Children love to be given choices. It gives them a sense of autonomy, the freedom and power to make their own decisions (within limit of course). Together, JJ and I listed all the activities that we would like to have in our daily routine.
Next, I curated some cute clip-art and made some routine cards. Print, cut, laminate. The cards were ready. Then, JJ and I sat down together to build her routine chart. We put it up someplace where she could reach it and also see it everyday. Each day, before we went to bed, we would go through our routine for the next day. JJ got to choose one activity that she wanted to do in the day. For example, we had a slot for JJ time where she got to choose between doing an activity at home or going to the playground. The choices grew in number as she got older.
Here is a picture of how our routine chart looks like.
The routine chart also helped to map out the steps for daily hygiene activities like brushing her teeth, getting into her clothes, bath time etcetera. It didn’t take long to see the results. Once the habit kicked in, the meltdowns melted away and the resistance faded. As DD got older, I noticed that he too appreciated having a routine and it was much easier getting things done as both JJ and DD knew what was coming each day and were much more cooperative with getting tasks done.
So, if like me, you’re having trouble with a child that is having difficulty adapting to the hustle and bustle of everyday life, try building a routine chart and making it a habit. It worked for me and I think it will work for you. Bear in mind, it takes time. Like Rome, habits are not made in a day but it won’t take a thousand years, I promise.
I will end with 2 tips for you:
#1: Never offer something that you are not comfortable with. Always give choices that are acceptable to you.
#2: Be consistent. Once you have made a plan, stick with it.
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