Whose opinion matters? Turning criticism into feedback with growth mindset

Just the other day, JJ came home with a colouring page the kindergarten had done with her for Chinese New Year. The following conversation ensued,

JJ: Mummy, is my drawing nice? I think it’s nice. 

Me: I like it. It’s good that you think it’s nice. 

JJ: But my friend saw it and said it was scribbles. 

Me: What do you think of it? Are you happy with your work? 

JJ: Yes, I think it’s nice. But my friend said I scribbled. 

Me: Well, I think that your opinion matters the most because it is your art work. You get to decide if it's nice or not. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what others think of your work. As long as you do your best and you’re happy with the outcome.

That was the end of the conversation. But as I thought about the conversation later, I wondered if there was more that I could have said. What could I have said that would help her grow instead of just learning to ignore criticism?

Perhaps I could have advised her change her view about her friend’s remark. Instead of viewing it negatively as a criticism, I could teach her to view it as a neutral feedback.

I could have said;

“What do you think of scribbles? Is it a bad thing?”  

“You have a choice. You can think of what your friend said as a bad thing and feel upset or you can think of your friend’s comment as feedback and learn from it.”  

“How can you make your colouring better?”

The key at the end of the day is to neutralize the negative effect of the criticism and work on ways to move forward towards growth.